Wednesday, February 4, 2015

Thomas' Guys, good vs. nice

It happened about 20 years ago while my sister and her family were living with my parents. I went to grab a coffee mug and noticed a baggy in the cupboard. The baggy was filled with little action figures. I held the baggy up with some confusion and Granny assured me they were put there intentionally.

My nephew Thomas who was about 3 at the time saw the baggy and excitedly asked, “Ooh! Can I play with my guys?” 

Granny said, “You know the rules,” and Thomas propped himself up at the dining room table.

“And not for too long; lunch is almost ready.”

The reason the guys had to be checked out like a library book and only played with at the table, was because they were so small they were in the “choke-able” category and we wouldn’t want their baby sister to find it. Plus, what adult would enjoy finding a hard plastic guy in the carpet with a bare foot? Ouch.

Thomas set up his guys. I sat with my coffee and watched. He explained, “These are the bad guys, and these are the nice guys.” And of course a battle between them ensued, complete with sound effects at which little boys are so adept.

Notice: He said, bad guys and nice guys. Not bad guys and good guys. At the age of learning opposites, maybe Thomas couldn’t differentiate the two.

Nice.

Good.

But there is a difference. I mean, how many times do we hear, “Oh, but he was such a nice guy…”? (Meanwhile, there are 12 bodies rotting under the floorboards).

According to many sources, one of the top traits of a sociopath is “charm.” Sociopaths are extra talented at being “nice” because they have perfected the act of being nice... doesn’t necessarily mean they’re good.

But don’t we fake niceties in our daily lives? We smile. We’re polite (sometimes when we don’t want to be). But when we're acting nice, it’s called being professional.

Here’s a picture of my cousin.




















Here’s a picture of him a few years back.





















And even farther back.






















Not much has changed. Some folks might not describe him as “nice,” because he skips the pretend talk and just takes care of business. Maybe he's not always polite. BUT, he has a heart of gold. Would do anything for anybody. Might not smile while doing it, but, good man.

So, which is better?

Good?

Or Nice?

And my story ends here because it was time to set the table for lunch. Thomas scooped up his guys, put them in the baggy, and back in the cupboard they went.